All We Have is Now
by kakashifangrl1012
Summary: His grin instantly turns into a frown as she shoots back a clever retort to his comment. I smile, seeing their antics. I remember all too well how we used to play the same game. Kate's thoughts on Tony and Ziva. Tate, Tiva.


So, this is my take on what Kate's reaction is to Tony and Ziva. Not especially original, but I had to get it out of my head. I guess you could say Kate is sort of a "ghost" in this, or a spirit, whatever you prefer. I might write another one with Jenny; I haven't decided yet.

Let me know if you think this is worth continuing, and I'll write another chapter from Jenny's perspective, if not, no harm done.

Enjoy!

---

What an idiot.

I watch him sit at his desk, that cheesy grin plastered all over his face. God, he's so stupid. I can tell that, like me, the woman sitting across from him isn't amused either. She proceeds to inform him of his childishness, and shoots back some clever retort to his earlier comment. The grin disappears from his face in an instant, replaced by a frown. She smirks at him in triumph.

I smile too, seeing their antics. I remember all too well how we used to play the same game. I hated him so much sometimes. I don't know how we managed to stay on speaking terms with how much we bickered. But it was all harmless in the end, I suppose.

It's selfish of me, really. I wish that I was still there, still bickering with him, instead of her. I shouldn't want that; I know I shouldn't, but part of me can't let it go. I can't let him go. Why do I feel the way I do, even after all this time? I wonder sometimes.

Their boss walks in, carrying his customary coffee, demanding the attention of his two team members. Gibbs grabs his gun and quickly walks to the elevator while telling the other two something. The both of them quickly grab their jackets and guns and scramble after him.

The last member of the team walks into the now unoccupied space with his eyes glued to the paper he is holding and rambling on about some complex computer-related technology. He suddenly looks up and realizes that no one is there, stopping mid-sentence. He sighs and sits at his desk, beginning work on his computer.

I chuckle, seeing that he is his usual geeky self.

Better go check on my favorite forensic scientist.

Her music is blaring in the lab, as usual, an indicator of her good mood. She glances at her computer every now and then, hoping that a match for the finger print she pulled would reveal itself. She looks around suddenly, searching for her life force. With an aha, she finds the highly caffeinated slushie standing between two machines and goes to get it.

"Kate," she says, seemingly to no one, "I swear all the sexual tension around here is gonna kill me."

"If the caffeine doesn't kill you first," I reply, even though she can't hear me.

She shakes her head and continues, "Tony and Ziva need to get it together, or I'm gonna smack both of them upside the head."

We both wince at the same time.

"Maybe not," Abby amends, "Ziva would probably shoot me."

I nod in agreement. Abby's the only one who talks to me anymore. The others think about me occasionally, but other than that, I'm mostly forgotten. It's always refreshing to have someone actually say my name and talk to me like I'm actually there. Which I am, a lot of the time, they just don't know it.

"Seriously, though, they both drive me nuts!" Abby vents.

Right on cue, the computer comes up with a match to the print.

"I'll tell you more later, Kate. I gotta call Gibbs," she says as she dials.

"No problem," I reply, "I have all day."

A little dead humor there for ya.

I blink, and now I'm with Gibbs, Tony, and Ziva again. They are all standing outside a brick building with their baseball caps and bulletproof vests on. I listen to the conversation and realize that they are invading the building. My heart clenches; I hope to God that none of them will get hurt and that they won't be joining me any time soon.

Gibbs motions some other guys in full gear over and they run up to the building. Gibbs communicates silently with his agents. Ziva goes around back, blocking their quarry's escape. With a loud bang, the door is kicked open and the agents rush in. Tony gets a glimpse of the fugitive running towards the back. The man rushes out, thinking that he is home free, only to be brutally stopped by Ziva. She gets in one punch to the head as he scrambles out the door, and he's out.

I chuckle. Couldn't have done it better myself.

Tony appears at the back door and looks from Ziva to the criminal and back.

"Jesus, Ziva, this guy's huge," he remarks.

"The bigger they are the harder they fall," she replies with a smirk.

He grins, "I'll say."

Gibbs appears behind Tony in the doorway. He spots the "huge guy" lying on the ground. He looks at Ziva.

"You didn't kill him, did you?"

"Just knocked out, boss," Tony informs him.

Gibbs smiles and nods, "Good job, Ziva."

I watch the events of the day continue. Night rolls around and with a "Goodnight, Boss." And "See you tomorrow, Gibbs." The Senior Field Agent and Mossad officer leave work for the day. They chat amicably while they walk until Tony makes another stupid comment. Ziva gets a disgusted look on her face as they step into the elevator.

"A pig. I work with a pig," she comments, shaking her head.

I see the memory flash through his mind, as it does in mine. I remember telling him practically the same thing. He blinks, and then smiles a little. His sudden change of expression does not go unnoticed by her.

"Tony?" she asks.

"…You know, Kate said the same thing," he replies to her unspoken question.

She nods, obviously not knowing what to say to that. "She knew you well," she decides on.

I snort at that. I couldn't have figured out Tony even if I had wanted to.

Another smile, "Yes, she did. Kept me from going crazy from Gibbs."

Well, that part was true anyway.

The elevator dings, signaling their arrival. "Night, Ziva," Tony says, and to mine and Ziva's surprise, kisses her cheek before strolling out to his car as if that is a perfectly normal thing to do. I look at her shocked expression and laugh. She clearly doesn't have much experience in that department.

A pang of guilt strikes me. Again, I wish I were in her position.

I blink, and I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Tony's car. He's driving like a maniac, speeding and running red lights. Out of habit, I yell at him.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed, Tony?!"

As if he hears me, he pulls over and cuts the engine. He stares at the windshield for a moment. What he just did dawns on him.

"Oh, shit! She's gonna kill me!"

I roll my eyes as he bangs his head against the wheel a couple times.

"…What would you say, Kate? You were always good at this kinda stuff…"

My eyes widen in surprise. He's never talked to me before. I stare at him in a mixture of surprise and amusement. What would I say?

I want him to be happy. I want all of them to be happy. I wish I could be a part of their lives, but I can't. I only realized the way I felt after his life was in danger, when I was faced with the question of what I would do without him. It's an odd realization when you admit you love someone. Especially in my case. There I was again, falling for someone I worked with. You're supposed to learn from your mistakes. And I had convinced myself that telling him any feelings I had would be a gigantic mistake. So I decided to put it off. After all, I had plenty of time, right?

Then, in a matter of seconds, it was all over.

I'm not going to let him make the same mistake I did.

Because all we have is now.

I sigh and shake my head, and then do what any good friend would do.

I smack him hard on the back of the head.

He winces and shivers, as if cold air had rushed through him.

"Right," he says, "That's what I thought you'd say."

**Review please!**


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